Reading “Reading Lolita in Tehran”

In case you didn’t already know… I LOVE READING!!!

I recently started “Reading Lolita in Tehran”. It’s pretty amazing. 

I became interested in human rights oriented books when I took a class in college called “Literature and Human Rights” we read books about struggles that deal with human rights in different parts of the world. In this class I also traveled to Peru, which is by far one of the most amazing experiences in my whole life. I really can’t describe in words how it made me feel to be in Peru, up in the Andes, the highest mountain range in the world. The scenery was beautiful, the culture was amazing, and personal experiences will last a lifetime. 

But most of all, I gained a real love for reading non-fiction novels about the struggles that other people face. It makes me more appreciative of the life that I lead and the fact that I have not had to face any significant hardships in my life. This book is based on a group of women who live in Tehran, Iran and meet secretly in an ex-professor’s living room to discuss forbidden American literature. It weaves in personal stories of the young women and how different each of their lives are. The most impacting lesson of the book is that I am free (mostly) to live the way that I want to live. No one is going to punish me for painting my nails, or inspect my bag for contraband items such as lipstick, books, etc. The women in this story have their rights taken away, because the men have to be saved from the temptation of women. This seems to take all of the responsibility away from the men and put it on the women. The men are not blamed, because they cannot help themselves-this is a contradiction of their cultural standards. Men are in charge because they can handle it, but they cannot control their wandering eyes or thoughts? Hmmm…. Food for thought.

If you are interested in reading more about human rights struggles, here are some other great books to read: “The What is the What” (about the Lost Boys of Sudan), “A Sunday at the Pool in Kigali” (about the genocide in Rwanda), “A Long Way Home” (about child soldiers in Sri Lanka), “Kite Runner” and “A Thousand Splendid Suns” (about the Taliban rule in Afghanistan-these books are fiction, but still good stories about the afflictions on the people of Afghanistan). I am also a huge fan of a few movies, although they are also fiction: “Blood Diamond” and “Hotel Rwanda”. And of course,  you should check out www.invisiblechildren.com and www.resolveuganda.com to read more about the longest running civil war happening right now in Northern Uganda. If you have any other great books, movies, or websites that you think I would be interested in, please let me know!! 

I also just want to encourage everyone to think outside of your own world. There are a lot of things that are going on in the world, and we have so many resources that could be used to help others. Mostly, I think everyone should find something that they are passionate about, and do it.

Another moment of honesty…

After thinking over my last post for a whole day, I have a few more reflections that I feel compelled to share. I guess I was just a little fed up with feeling criticized. But the thing is, if I really feel offended, I know that something is wrong. I’m not a person who is easily offended and usually let things roll off my back quickly. But sometimes I know that the things that stick with me are the things that need to be addressed. 

By no means am I depressed, or wish that others would not criticize me. I think I just need to take a more honest look at myself more often, and sometimes I get so comfortable with myself that I forget to watch my actions and what I say. 

But more that that, I just want to serve the one and only living God with my whole heart and my whole life. That is the most important thing to me and by focusing on that, I will learn to make the necessary changes. 

PS- WE FINALLY SANG MY FAVORITE WORSHIP SONG AT CHURCH THIS PAST SUNDAY. I have been requesting that we sing it since LAST JULY and we finally did! Now I know that persistence and patience really do pay off  The song is called “How He Loves” by John Mark McMillan:

“He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory. And I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me.

Oh, how He loves us so, Whoa how He loves us, How he loves us so!”

A moment of honesty…

Wow, I haven’t blogged since January…

So, lately I’ve been thinking about something: at what point does someone else’s “joke” become a comment on my character? I guess I should provide some background. Sometimes, people act as if they are joking and call you something (not an expletive) that might be a comment on your character, for example: “you are so mean/weird/full of yourself/(insert other character flaw here)”. And my question is, at what point should I begin to believe that this is true, or should I take it as a joke always? Maybe it has to do with the number of times someone comments on your character, or maybe it has more to do with how who the source is? I don’t know, its just really worrying me lately. 

I feel like I have tried so hard to be the person that God wants me to be, and I truly struggle with certain issues that have to do with my “filter”. Although I have had good filter moments lately, there are still plenty of times when I fail to filter the comment that could be seen as mean, offensive, or cocky. It just comes out. 

The other thing is that I know that I have changed a lot over the years. Even my own mom called me the B word a few times when I was 19. Now, I really try to be so much more compassionate, caring, and genuine. So I guess I really take it personally when someone comments negatively on my character. Especially when it has to do with the area that I struggle most: my pride. I think I can make the changes, but I’m not sure. Am I just stuck this way? I don’t think so. God changed me before, and I know that he can continue me on the same path.

confession

I have a confession: 

            I live with my parents.

There, I said it. 

I know a lot of you already knew that, but I just wanted to say that I am so ready to move back out! Seriously, it is just the little things that get to me. For example:

1. I can’t ever get my laundry done because someone else always cuts in when I have only one load left to do! how rude.

2. There is never any food here. And even more annoying is when I am really excited about something, for example when I think to myself “there is one more apple left and I really want to eat it when I get home from work”, then I come home to find that someone else already eaten it and I didn’t know!

3. My parents telling my to clean up my room (not that its really ever that messy, so when they do, it makes me even more annoyed).

I know that I am lucky to have such amazing parents that let me live at home while I was finding a job. But I’m ready to move! I have lived on my own for the last four years, and it has definitely been an adjustment. I just have to wait until April to find out if I have a job next year. Keep praying for me!

Can’t sleep

Well, it is 3 in the morning and I have to get up at 6:15 to go to work and right now, I can’t sleep. I apologize in advance if I am grumpy tomorrow. 

I think I would be able to sleep if I would stop thinking so much….Yeah right, like that will happen.

NYC baby!

So, as some of you know, I went to New York City last weekend with my mom. It was definitely a good time. Although it was cold, with the exception of Sunday (64 degrees), I really enjoyed myself. Lets just say, I am an expert at the NY subway system (haha yeah right), and I have had my fill of Time’s Square to last me the rest of my life (I’m pretty sure one night is enough). I saw “All my Sons” starring Katie Holmes (and yes, I did once have a dog named Katie Holmes), and the musical “Grease” with Ace Young from American Idol. I loved them both, especially Grease because it was one of my favorite movies when I was younger. I’m pretty sure I watched it 5o times in 7th grade alone! And in case you were wondering, I did want to lick Ace Young (he played Kenicke)…SHOUT OUT TO ANDREA LOPER…lol. I did a lot of shopping and eating, which just so happen to be two of my favorite things, and I did a lot of running into people who just stood there in the middle of the sidewalk (only sometimes on purpose). I had fun hangin’ with my mom and can’t wait to go on our next exciting adventure to another great city!

I thought I would share one anecdote from the trip though: On Sunday morning my mom and I stood in line for an hour before the box office opened so we could get rush tickets to see Grease. So I decided to make the morning coffee run into Starbucks while she waited in line (thank goodness it was a very pleasant 64 degrees that day!!!). As I entered the door I was greeted with a line of about 15 people, and proceeded to stand in line behind this guy who looked to be in his late twenties and had redish hair and a pleasant smile, well it was kinda creepy actually. As I walked in the door, he immediately said “you must be an actress” (and guys, please only try this line in the right context). Well he talked and talked and talked about his various stints on tv as an extra or a minor character and about actresses who I didn’t really know who they were and asked me a little bit about myself… I guess I’m not the nice girl who just plays along because I’m pretty sure I killed the conversation when I said “I don’t really know a lot about acting”….oops! Oh well, at least it was better than the guy who sneered at me as I was walking down Park Avenue (not sure why he did that).

And since it is the new year, maybe I should resolve to be nicer to strangers who try to hit on me in coffee shops, or is that too specific??? Hmmm….

C3 to me

 

A few months ago I joined C3 Church. There was a piece of paper that I had to fill out with the usual info: name, birthday, address, phone number, etc. But the special part of this paper was on the back where everyone had the chance to write “their story”. So I did and I turned it in. I wanted to post my story a long time ago, but when my computer crashed a few months ago, I thought that I had lost it forever. Well, today I found a stack of papers tucked away in my bookshelf and I actually found a copy of my story!!! Bear with me because it is a little lengthy. Here it is:

 

“My Story: Abby Holmes

C3 (to me) stands for:

     Connecting Abby with this very special Community of Christ

Becoming a member of a church is a huge decision for me to make, and that is why it took me so long to turn form in. But after thinking about this decision for almost a month, I know what i have to do. This is my story:

I started coming here a few months ago through a series of random events (but that is another story, for another time). I was about to graduate from college and was not quite sure of what step I was going to take next. I ended up moving back to Orlando to live with my parents, and although I love my parents dearly, I was not too thrilled about moving back with them. I guess I was really worried about everything: getting along with my new roommates (mom, dad, one puppy, and three cats), finding a job, making new friends, and most of all finding a church in Orlando that I loved as much as my church in Jacksonville. Although I as determined, I pretty much thought that finding a church was not going to happen, at least not for a long time. I not only wanted to attend a church, but feel as if I was part of it and it was a part of me.

Lets just say, I found all of those things and so much more at C3. I connected with a great community group, made instant and deep connections with friends, and look forward with great anticipation to every Sunday to see what God has in store for me and my church family. I have to admit that my attitude has changed dramatically since the beginning of the summer from what could e described as “apprehensive” (well, actually more like bitter) to an attitude of pure joy. I’ve learned what it is to truly trust God with my whole life, and still have the opportunity to practice that trust everyday. I’m so blessed to know that God has answered one of my deepest prayers: to find a community of friends that I can worship with, believe with, be challenged by, and share my life with.

When Pastor Byron first proposed the idea of becoming a member of C3, I wasn’t sure about making that official leap. I knew that it was a big decision to make and I had only been attending C3 for a few short months. But if there is one thing that I have learned from the past summer, it is that God puts things in your life that you don’t understand (and might be “apprehensive” about), but you somehow know that it is right. That’s how I feel about this church family. I don’t quite understand how I found C3 and so quickly became involved, but I know that it is right. And to be a true part of this community means a deep commitments on my part, and the only way I can achieve that is to become a member. I need to dive headfirst into this, not just sit on the side and put my toes in. And although it took me a few weeks to realize it, I want to become a member of C3 church. More than that, I need to be a member of C3 church. I can’t explain why I feel this way, or why that feeling came on so suddenly, or even why I’m writing all of this, I just simply know that it is right. Besides, who wants to spend their whole life standing on the first step, wondering what it would be like to jump in, while everyone else is diving in, and having cannon ball contests, and swimming laps, and playing Marco Polo, and trying to touch the bottom of the pool and playing with those nifty little pool noodles, and…well, enough with the pool metaphor. The point is: I can’t not do this. “

Like I said, I wrote this a while ago, but it is all still true!!

And PS:

I’m reading the book “The Secret Life of Bees”. If you like to read, then please do me a favor and read it. It is amazing.

Good gracious

So, I haven’t beenon the computer much lately (unless you count entering grades and taking attendance, which is so painfully tedious), therefore I haven’t been doing much blogging. It’s okay, because I’m pretty sure that the only one who actually reads my blogs is Andrea…

I just wanted to let y’all know about my new favorite things to do: sewing and baking. I know, it sounds so “Susie Homemaker” of me, but I really do enjoy both. I just took a three-week sewing class at “The Sewing Studio” in Maitland (which I highly recommend for all beginning sewers) and it was awesome. I made the cutest pajama pants that I’ve worn for the last three nights in a row because I am so proud of them. I also have been baking a lot lately, mostly for the holidays and for my C3 community group. I love baking, although I don’t care too much for cooking. I think it has to do with the degree of uncertainty involved in cooking. You add a pinch of this and that and when it tastes right, then you’re done….seriously people, I need a little more structure than that. So when I bake there are directions, and measurements, and if you follow them you should come out with something good (unless you are completely hopeless).

Other than that, I have been wrapped up in my new job as a sixth grade math teacher. It is going pretty good, I’m still new and able to use the “I just started so I don’t know anything” excuse when I make a mistake. The kids are mostly great (with the exception of a few hooligans that deserve to be in detention for the rest of their lives). I guess my biggest challenge is learning to love the kids that make my life the most stressful. I need to give them a new chance everyday without letting them walk all over me. Like I said in my last post, I am learning a lot about patience…

Oh and BTW, one of my kids sang me a song today. I goes like this: “Miss H to the O to the L to the M to the E to the S”. It was funny at the time.

I have missed you…

So it’s been a while since I have blogged. I’m not sure why, maybe because I have just been so super busy lately. I got a job teaching 6th grade math and it has been wonderful! It’s nice to know that I can change the lives of these kids by teaching them math. They are amazing, and wonderful, and they make my life way more interesting… but that is another story. Did I mention that they are entertaining? One class already told me that I am their favorite teacher. I know that they are just sucking up, but it’s still nice to hear.

 

Lately I’ve been thinking about some things that are going on in my life. I know that I am where I am supposed to be and that God has been teaching me so much about patience and persistence. Why? The most obvious reason is that it took me over six months to find a job. Some others have to do with more personal things that I’m not sure what the outcome is yet. But as I said, I’m learning to embrace patience. Along with that, I have come to appreciate the blessings that I do get because I had to wait for them. It’s like when your parents make you do chores when you are little because they want you to earn the money for your new toy. Thats how I feel. I have put in my dues and am finally reaping the benefit (even if the benefits do not look exactly like I thought they would). I know that my life is in God’s hands and that is truly more than I could ever ask for.